When you mentioned web host, I assumed you were doing a web app. Exposing a database directly to the internet is a bad idea.
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Aren’t there like passwords and secure protocols and such? Seems odd that there has to be middleware and there isn’t a secure solution for a simple client-server thing.
Things like MYSQL are not meant to be internet facing. Yes they can do SSL and user/passwords, but by default MYSQL does not use SSL and you will need to configure it. HTTPS is a very well known standard, that should work everywhere, and is very often used as a middleman to things like databases. Be very careful exposing anything to the Internet :).
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Alternatively you could consider a hosted VPN solution. Your clients could make a secure VPN connection to a database hosted by a secure VPN hosting company. You existing hosting company may already offer this service.
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MySQL can be exposed to the internet without fear if access is restricted to certain IP addresses. This works best if only accessed from static IPs. Most shared hosting sites offer MySQL as part of the basic service. To run a Xojo web app generally requires a VPS.
You are correct, however most people configure the user as ‘user’@‘%’ instead of ‘user’@‘IP/Host’, and or do not configure the firewall properly.