Few seem to understand what the forum and community would be like if many used user-chosen names. It would quickly feel like strangers talking to other strangers on the Internet and that often ends badly.
Our original forum was that way and I almost never read any messages on it for that reason.
While I understand the desire for anonymity, it’s usually incompatible with civility. I wish that were not true. I wish people had the character to do the right thing when no one is watching. Unfortunately that’s not the world in which we live. Real names won’t guarantee good behavior of course but anonymity would cause the community to deteriorate.
As for those who make the argument that a future employer, while searching the internet for your name as part of their due diligence, might come across a heated discussion you had and that that might reflect poorly on you, I say take some personal responsibility. Perhaps knowing that living in the modern world means that anything you say or do online potentially lives forever means that one must be extra careful about how one acts online. Personally, I don’t say anything online that I’m unwilling to live with.
This is no different than how we each act in our own physical communities. If I were constantly picking loud and obnoxious fights with my neighbors, I would quickly find myself demonized by them. Not wanting this, I don’t act that way. Our online lives are, for the most part, no different.
There absolutely are times when anonymity is necessary. Someone considering suicide for example should be able to talk to others anonymously but these are the exceptions and should not be the rule.
Real names means we have our individual reputation to defend and thus something to lose if we can’t control our emotions.