Turned out to be user error. username misspelled will get you every time!
Place the CRT file supplied by DigitalOcean in parent of application
Here is the code that works just so people who are searching can see
dim tempDB as new MySQLCommunityServer
tempDB.host = “DigitalOceanSuppliedHostName”
tempDB.port = DigitalOceanSuppliedPort
tempDB.DatabaseName = “databasename”
tempDB.UserName = “UserName”
tempDB.Password = “Password”
tempDB.SSLMode=True
Try
tempDB.Connect
MsgBox(“Connected!”)
Catch error as DatabaseException
MsgBox(error.ErrorNumber.ToString+" "+error.Message)
End Try