Respect others being different, be nice to each other

Hello All,

Since 2005 I am on the RealBasic - Real.Studio - Xojo forum. I always enjoyed the friendly and helpfull atmosphere here on these forum. There are many very helpfull and skilled people here, which are an excellent addition to this community.

However, since the new forum is up and running, there are a lot of insults, flaming wars and aggressive talk going on here.

This website is visited and viewed by people all around the world. There are a lot of nationalities, cultures and religions present here. Some people use English as their native language, some have to translate. That means that sometimes, people are just misunderstood because they used the wrong expressions.

There is no need to insult each other because we all spend our valuable time here helping each other. Just insulting other people is not productive. We need to build an understanding with each other. Respect has to be earned, it isn’t something people get for free.

When you read something, you do not agree on, or which offend you, is it too much to ask to think twice about what offended you. Was it really ment to be offensive or perhaps was it just the other person was unaware what he/she wrote was offensive? I read many threads who where resulting in flaming wars or insults. As an outsider of these threads, in most cases people where just misunderstanding each other or did not realise what they wrote was offensive.

Respect each others differencies, and learn to accept each other for what a person really is. Believe me, positivity is so much stronger than negativity. A smile, a friendly word can resolve a bad situation and you will learn that in most cases the other party didn’t mean to be offensive or upsetting. Behind every member here on the forum, is a real person present. A person with his/her own personality, beliefs, religion and temper. Sometimes you go along with a person, sometimes not, however not liking some person doesn’t mean that person is bad. It is just that in that case, personalities are colliding with each other, nothing more nothing less.

I honour democracy and the freedom of speech very much. There is nothing wrong in defending your opinions, viewpoints and ideas as long as it happens with respect to other people, even when they are your opponents or their viewpoints are completely against yours. I do not like to see well meant threads ending in vulgar conversations because they are not adding anything worthwhile to the community.

I only ask you to think about for a moment about what I have said here. Being polite and gentle to each other will bring much more positive value to this excellent forum. We are all humans and humans make mistakes.

Let us respect and appreciate each other for our unique personalities and make this communitiy a nice and friendly place to meet and help each other.

Friendly greetings,

Chris

[quote=33405:@Chris V]This website is visited and viewed by people all around the world. There are a lot of nationalities, cultures and religions present here. Some people use English as their native language, some have to translate. That means that sometimes, people are just misunderstood because they used the wrong expressions.
[/quote]

There’s a great example of this here. I’m pretty sure what Markus (non-native English speaker) meant was that he thoroughly enjoyed my article!!!

There’s a wonderfully helpful post by Luke Butt (he uses a fake name Tony Stark) listing the domain names owned by the thread’s original poster. You know, because that’s relevant to what was posted.

It would seem more genuine if people calling for everyone to be nice would call for it when people are pretty vicious. Didn’t see you there in those two cases, Chris.

[quote=33412:@Brad Hutchings]There’s a great example of this here. I’m pretty sure what Markus (non-native English speaker) meant was that he thoroughly enjoyed my article!!!

There’s a wonderfully helpful post by Luke Butt (he uses a fake name Tony Stark) listing the domain names owned by the thread’s original poster. You know, because that’s relevant to what was posted.

It would seem more genuine if people calling for everyone to be nice would call for it when people are pretty vicious. Didn’t see you there in those two cases, Chris.[/quote]
Ugh! Was this necessary? Reread OP’s intent. Relinking “bad” posts and outing people’s names kinda defeats the purpose of the OP’s intention.

[quote=33413:@Nona Suomy]Ugh! Was this necessary? Reread OP’s intent. Relinking “bad” posts and outing people’s names kinda defeats the purpose of the OP’s intention.
[/quote]

Those linked posts kinda defeat the purpose of the OP’s intention.

The NUG had just as much flaming and no way to douse the flames. This forum allows the xojo staff to shut down unproductive threads. That’s about as much as you can ask for…

My advice is to reframe the issue, and instead appreciate the colorful personalities that take a passionate interest in programming with Xojo. Reading through the polemic statements or reveling in their cleverness is the best way for you to exert control, other than simply not reading them at all. That’s always an option too.

I am going to agree with you this time :wink:

Hello everyone,

Everyone posted here, gave his/her viewpoint with respect to the others. You all made my point very clear!

The more colorfull people and ideas here on this forum, the better.

Wish you all a very nice weekend and all the best.

Friendly greetings,

Chris Verberne

When the Xojo staff has to close conversations, I think it is safe to say they are not exactly appreciating the colorful personalities.

I spent 5+ years on the old forum and witnessed maybe two flame wars. Since June on the new forum I’ve seen dozens. I’m not sure why things are so different now, but I’d be happy to see the NUG reopened if it meant the flame warriors would be confined there again.

The NUG hasn’t been closed.

Andrew, the alpha and beta mailing lists were closed and members were asked to participate here, long before previous forum members were invited.

Remember that we’re transitioning to a new IDE which has been the catalyst for much of the impassioned speech. So the better comparison is to 2005 which I recall as being much much worse. The 2005 IDE was welcomed like the US as liberators of Iraq.

Uh oh, Joseph, did you really have to go there?

Overall it did not feel that way to me…

It deserved it!!! It was a lot buggier than Xojo was on release!

[quote=33474:@Karen Atkocius]It deserved it!!! It was a lot buggier than Xojo was on release!
[/quote]

This is where I part company with many here. Neither deserve that kind of reaction. If there are actionable bugs or improvements, file feedback reports. If you don’t see value in renewing, wait until you do; there’s no penalty. But the “this sucks” attitude is poisonous. Worse, it never accomplishes anything.

There is nothing wrong with customers complaining about EXTREME bugginess… and 2005 was that. I complained and renewed … Somehow i think they prefer that to not complaining and not renewing!

[quote=33484:@Karen Atkocius]There is nothing wrong with customers complaining about EXTREME bugginess… and 2005 was that. I complained and renewed … Somehow i think they prefer that to not complaining and not renewing!
[/quote]

Ultimately, that’s for the seller to decide. I’ve seen the police called on people who boisterously complained about food or service in a restaurant on several occasions. Depends on what the seller wishes to tolerate. I think that when there are constructive avenues and very obvious examples of people using those constructive avenues to report problems, yelling “this sucks” isn’t terribly respectful to other customers. And it never accomplishes anything.

Sorry, I thought it had been.

I wasn’t here for the 2005 switch, so I can’t speak to that. All I can say is that since June 1, 2013 my respect for Xojo as a company, a community, and as a tool, has plummeted. I used to recommend RealStudio, because the IDE was a useful tool and the forum was helpful and polite. I can’t do that with Xojo, and that makes me sad and angry.

Maybe people were sadder and angrier in 2005, I don’t know. All I know is that as of right now I don’t consider the money I spent on a Xojo license well spent and that I can’t discuss my disappointment on this forum. If I do I risk a verbal attack, assuming my post isn’t deleted.

Sadness and anger are the emotions I’ve come to associate with Xojo, the tool, the company, the community. And that just makes me even sadder and angrier. I have a luxury that not all Xojo customers have: I can drop Xojo completely without jeopardizing my income. The only reason I’m still here is because I liked REALstudio and I want Xojo to succeed.

That is 100% true, but apparently there are plenty of other avenues to getting to the point of not being respectful to the other customers.