Guys and gals, I took a week off from participating in the forums, outside of reading download announcements in the beta channel, as a result of a polite request to “tone it down”. I came back, and literally the first post I read last night was from one bitter je-rk slamming me and the first post I read this morning was from the resident passive aggressive je-rk slamming me.
I’m taking a cue and some advice from a friend who deals with this kind of thing on a larger, more public scale. Other than a couple specific things I need from the forum (alpha and beta announcements), I won’t be participating here for awhile. I’ve always strived to be a contributor here. If you’re a decent human being, and you’d like my perspective on Xojo things, please find me on Twitter, or feel free to email me. Contact info is in my profile.
I like to keep in touch with other professionals and enthusiasts. At some point, I’ll start a private mailing list or discussion forum that will simply keep the good eggs in and the bad ones out. If you’re a good egg, hit me up. Most of you are.
You are difficult to categorize… you are helpful but you also take issue strongly when someone disagrees with you and you tend to do it disagreeably.
If you were simply more polite in your disagreement and/OR did not respond to those who take issue with your opinions, there would not be a problem. Your tone when disagreeing does raise hackles… and then others who also can’t not respond to perceived attacks/slights come back… and so the circle goes and escalates… It IS possible to agree to disagree and co-exist.
While I like mailing lists better, starting your own is just splitting the already relatively small community and thus potentially making the community and Xojo weaker. Please reconsider that.
I guess you need to ask yourself why you can’t just ignore those who’s comments you don’t like… Does someone disagreeing with your opinions REALLY diminish YOU in any significant way? Does it affect your life off-line somehow? Does its affect your business? Do you always need to be “right” or have the last word? (no one is always right and sometimes there is no clear right)
If not why respond to it?
Don’t answer that … It’s Just something for you to ponder, if you are so inclined.
Karen, I take issue with rude people. You will never, ever see me “personally get into it” in person or online with someone over a disagreement of facts or technical approach. You will see me “personally get into it” with people who step over personal boundaries or just come loaded for bear, and there is a lot of that here. Painting this as I can’t handle disagreement is especially off the mark. Seriously, if you had ever worked with me, you’d know that I have tons of tolerance and patience for people of all capabilities. I have none for jerks.
My concern here isn’t for “the community”. It’s for people who can help me out and who I can help out. If that splits what others consider to be their community, it’s on them, not me. Xojo is a tool I use. The company consists of people I respect and whom I hope will continue to thrive. But I don’t see what I do here or elsewhere having much marginal effect on that.
Brad, I’ve never personally had a beef with you, but just as one more data point (in addition to Karen and whoever asked you to tone it down) for your consideration, it was only yesterday that I composed (but chose not to submit) a question asking if there was a way to mute an individual user, and you are the user that motivated me to want that feature. I know you’ve been a helpful member of the community for many years, but my overwhelming impression of you is that you seem like a thoroughly unpleasant person to be around, and (almost) every time you show up, unpleasantness is sure to follow. You will no doubt protest that I’m totally out to lunch, or that it’s always someone else’s fault (that “passive aggressive je-rk”, I suppose), but that is my impression nonetheless, based solely on what I’ve seen lately on this forum. Make of it what you will
[quote=113434:@Brad Hutchings]Guys and gals, I took a week off from participating in the forums, outside of reading download announcements in the beta channel, as a result of a polite request to “tone it down”. I came back, and literally the first post I read last night was from one bitter je-rk slamming me and the first post I read this morning was from the resident passive aggressive je-rk slamming me.
I’m taking a cue and some advice from a friend who deals with this kind of thing on a larger, more public scale. Other than a couple specific things I need from the forum (alpha and beta announcements), I won’t be participating here for awhile. I’ve always strived to be a contributor here. If you’re a decent human being, and you’d like my perspective on Xojo things, please find me on Twitter, or feel free to email me. Contact info is in my profile.
I like to keep in touch with other professionals and enthusiasts. At some point, I’ll start a private mailing list or discussion forum that will simply keep the good eggs in and the bad ones out. If you’re a good egg, hit me up. Most of you are.[/quote]
While you can be sometimes gruff you do contribute a lot for a lot of people. That will be missed.
But I get that sometimes the right thing is to just step away for a bit.
See you on the alpha & beta lists maybe
I don’t know the word “jerks”, but I think I guess. We have to have a tons of tolerance and patience with “low” people. People with all capabilities don’t need our tolerance.
I mean, for a school teacher, good students need less attention than the turbulents.
I’m not English native speaker, and I’m not a professional programming. Then the question I ask may make me be see as what you call a ■■■■.
I wrote the same word as brad “jerks” without the “s” and it was replaced by “!@#$%”.
The Markus’s thread has been removed ? I can’t see it.
I never had a fight with you brad, but when the discussion become hard between some members, you are sometimes one of them.
Strange, because you look very relaxed on your avatar photo, and the guy behind you too, he shows a very large smile .
Instead of go away for a while, it would be much better to stay here, but go away from every fight for a while.
There are very good beer in Germany, I’m sure Markus and you would have better contact with two beers front of you.
You seems to forget that it actually exist a group of non-English people. This group have various knowledge of the English language. Some comments may sound aggressive or rude which is not necessarily true.
Be more friendly and You will see that You get more friendly response.
That’s the kind of abusive behavior for which you want people banned. I’ve told you specifically that I don’t welcome private contact from you, and that’s what you turned it into.
[quote=113501:@Thomas ROBISSON]I posted a comment on your thread and I can’t see it now ? You banned me from your thread :’( .
:)[/quote]
I can’t delete a thread and thought that some of the comments were detrimental to Xojo. Bad enough. However as someone pointed out some of the abuse I received was unsuitable for kids (those who have been to the poll know what I’m talking about) so I made the thread private to remove it from the forum.
It is not directed at you or anyone else, I just thought it would be better for the Xojo community.
And I thought Brad and I had agreed to ignore each other, but maybe I was mistaken.
P.S. Added you again. Be careful what you wish for.
.
