@Kristin G Yes it does! I never considered putting it within a ContainerControl like that but you are correct, it can now be instantiated via code... however, I still can't seem to interact with it. For example, if you add a second button that enables one of the buttons in the toolbar, the IDE complains and says that the object does not exist... which is true as it won't exist until runtime. Unless I'm doing something wrong, I don't think this is the answer I was looking for.
This demonstrates that with some creativity, many things considered impossible are in fact doable. That is what I call flexible thinking. Or creative, if you will.
There is no perfect tool, that explains the profusion of languages. Xojo may not be perfect, yet it is good enough to have permitted a lot of people to be successful. Including myself.
About how to interact with the toolbar embedded in the Container Control, you need to make it available from outside of the container control. You can add a property myToolbar as toolbar to the CC, and set it to the toolbar.
You can also add toolbar events to the ContainerControl. See http://docs.xojo.com/RaiseEvent
Or add event handlers to your toolbar in code. See http://docs.xojo.com/AddHandler
A good deal of your frustration also comes from your relative lack knowledge of the tool. The more you use it, the more you discover.
Another little detail, which has nothing to do with the piece of software : this forum is one of the few where you will not be looked down as a newcomer, but rather, members will do their best to help you get what you want to achieve (as I did).