Programming Humor 2

  1. 4 years ago

    Alwyn B

    8 Aug 2013 Pre-Release Testers Johannesburg, South Africa

    A software engineer, a hardware engineer and a department manager were on their way to a meeting in Switzerland. They were driving down a steep mountain road when suddenly the brakes on their car failed. The car careened almost out of control down the road, bouncing off the crash barriers, until it miraculously ground to a halt scraping along the mountainside.

    The car's occupants, shaken but unhurt, now had a problem: they were stuck halfway down a mountain in a car with no brakes. What were they to do?

    "I know," said the department manager, "Let's have a meeting, propose a Vision, formulate a Mission Statement, define some Goals and by a process of Continuous Improvement find a solution to the Critical Problems, and we can be on our way."

    "No, no," said the hardware engineer, "That will take far too long, and besides, that method has never worked before. I've got my Swiss Army knife with me, and in no time at all I can strip down the car's braking system, isolate the fault, fix it and we can be on our way."

    "Well," said the software engineer, "Before we do anything, I think we should push the car back up the road and see if it happens again."

  2. Rick A

    8 Aug 2013 (Brazil. GMT-3:00)

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  3. Andrew L

    8 Aug 2013 San Francisco, CA, USA

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  4. Dale A

    8 Aug 2013 San Diego, California, USA

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  5. Dave S

    8 Aug 2013 San Diego, California USA

    LOL! sad thing is... that is not so far from the truth....

  6. Rick A

    9 Aug 2013 (Brazil. GMT-3:00)

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  7. Carsten B

    9 Aug 2013 Pre-Release Testers, Xojo Pro Germany, NRW, Europe

    Two strings walk into a bar and sit down. The bartender says, "So what'll it be?"
    The first string says, "I think I'll have a beer quag fulk boorg jdk^CjfdLk jk3s d#f67howe%^U r89nvy owmc63^Dz x.xvcu"
    "Please excuse my friend," the second string says, "He isn't null-terminated."

  8. Andrew L

    9 Aug 2013 San Francisco, CA, USA

    An UInt32 walks into a bar but only orders a glass of water. The bartender asks "are you sure that's all you want?" The UInt32 responds, "I'm positive!"

  9. A programmer is walking along a beach and finds a lamp. He rubs the lamp, and a genie appears. “I am the most powerful genie in the world. I can grant you any wish, but only one wish.”

    The programmer pulls out a map, points to it and says, “I’d want peace in the Middle East.”

    The genie responds, “Gee, I don’t know. Those people have been fighting for millenia. I can do just about anything, but this is likely beyond my limits.”

    The programmer then says, “Well, I am a programmer, and my programs have lots of users. Please make all my users satisfied with my software and let them ask for sensible changes.”

    At which point the genie responds, “Um, let me see that map again.”

  10. Endless Loop: n., see Loop, Endless.
    Loop, Endless: n., see Endless Loop.

  11. Brian O

    9 Aug 2013 Pre-Release Testers, Xojo Pro Calgary, AB

    ahh... There is nothing like a good hex dump in the morning.

  12. Brandon S

    9 Aug 2013 Pre-Release Testers

    @Brian OBrien ahh... There is nothing like a good hex dump in the morning.

    Awkward...... lol

  13. shao s

    12 Aug 2013 Pre-Release Testers Sudbury, Ontario, Canada

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    http://xkcd.com/979/

  14. Edited 4 years ago

    I've always loved this one (sadly its a dilbert and they really are good at protecting their copyrighted property - technically & legally so you have to go there to see this)

    http://dilbert.com/strips/comic/1995-11-13/

    But - I did buy a minivan not long after this one came out :P

  15. Rick A

    23 Aug 2013 (Brazil. GMT-3:00)

    Friday! Time to turn this server on.

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  16. Alwyn B

    20 Sep 2013 Pre-Release Testers Johannesburg, South Africa

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  17. Rick A

    20 Sep 2013 (Brazil. GMT-3:00)

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  19. Alwyn B

    10 Oct 2013 Pre-Release Testers Johannesburg, South Africa

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  20. Eric B

    11 Oct 2013 Arlington, Texas
    Edited 4 years ago

    Some people, when confronted with a problem, think, 'I know, I'll use threads' - and then two they have problems.

    99 little bugs in the code
    99 bugs in the code
    patch one down, compile it around
    117 bugs in the code

    A programmer puts two glasses on his bedside table before going to sleep. A full one, in case he gets thirsty, and an empty one, in case he doesn’t.

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